I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
