well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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