I wish I could punch you in the face.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
