i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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