Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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