And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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