It's Friday. Sex?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
handjob tips. give me some.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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