belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
