I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
There r osticjed everywhere
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
