would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
