i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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