and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
