now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
