shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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