I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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