I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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