I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize