didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize