Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
