My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
