The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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