I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize