Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
