also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
