I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
