Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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