Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
