i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
