Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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