weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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