no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
