you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
