every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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