Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
