is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
