Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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