In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
