is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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