So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize