He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
