you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
