he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize