i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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