soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
