Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
