You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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