So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
