You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
