Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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