please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You need Xanax blowdarts
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
