I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Is it because I queefed?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Randomize
