Buhtt sex?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
