My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
