he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize