I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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