You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
