Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
