hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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