Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize