Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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