I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
