He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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