I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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