Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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