Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize