You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
