I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
